I seriously had about forty "P" words I wanted to use. Pink, for instance. I lulurve pink. But, I wanted to get down to business, give this blog some substance. I mean, I could blab about my love of PINK and PUSSY cats all day.
I could've gone with the given "P" words as well.
But, enough about PUSSIES and PECKERS. We'll save those for later.
I've had these tiny pep talks with myself lately. I have been such a freaking PROCRASTINATOR (another "P" word) I told myself I'd take a month off from serious writing to PROMO my book, read some amazing books I've been dying to read, and just...be.
Welp, I did that. Only that, I slacked on the PROMO, I only read two books, and we are currently going on week seven since Queen of Hearts released.
Fucked up, right?
Yeah. I mean, I haven't been totally sitting on my rear, but I haven't been real PRODUCTIVE either. I'm still in that funk, and it's a really stressful ugly place to be.
So, I finally gave myself the kick I needed so badly, and decided to change things.
Writing has to become a main PRIORITY if I want to make this a PROFESSION. This is the career I covet, so why am I acting like it's all going to just fall in my lap? It's not going to, as nothing else in my life has ever fallen there either. I've worked hard thus far, and I need to step it up a little bit.
So, I gave myself a little check list of sorts. What needs to be done, what do I want, etc. I'm a total lister. I love love love lists. Honestly, my life would be a freaking nightmare if I didn't keep track of things somehow. But trying to decide what my PRIORITIES are is just crazyness.
My full-time job is definitely a priority. I gotta eat. The kid has to eat. The cats gotta eat. I mean, I'm cute and all, but I'm not so cute that PEOPLE are gonna throw T-bones at me for smiling. I have HAVE to work. Sadly, I am nowhere near the point in my book sales to PRETEND that I could live off of my writing. It's PATHETIC, but I don't even think I've broke even yet.
BUT, if I keep my PRIORITIES in order, that could happen. I need to just get my head in the game and make it happen.
The only way that can happen is to write more books. Yeah, seems reasonable, right? Let me just say, that I have about twelve WIPS going on. It wouldn't be a stretch if I just got to it.
So that's priority #1. WRITE. PEN to PAPER.
My goal is to finish the 3rd book in the Jayne series by the end of the month. What? Is that even POSSIBLE? Of course it is. I just need to make it happen.
The first step I'm going to take to achieve this is to desist from being on Social Media so much. Most of the time, I'm not really on. I'm logged in, and then something will distract me.
I'm giving myself one hour a day. That's it!
Second PRIORITY is sleep. I need to sleep and I need lots of it so that when I get home from work, my fourth PRIORITY, I will be able to get some work done.
My third priority is actually my most important and really, my number one, but it's my family. What I am doing differently with them is PUTTING them in charge of their own shit for a change. I don't have tiny children. I have newly adult boys in this house. I am no longer making their laundry or dinner or clean ups my first PRIORITY. I will put their welfare first, but the other stuff... time to grow up boys!
So there you have it. I'm PUMPED to see if I can stick to my guns and organize my author life a little bit.
Wish me luck! I can't wait to share the fruits of this PROCESS!
Okay... not like that. Get your minds out of the gutter will ya?
So, Saturday I attended a signing at the public Library in Long Beach, CA, my hometown.
It wasn't the first book signing I've attended, but it was the first time I've had to speak in public.
I was not excited--let me tell you. I was panicked and stressed the eff out. I do not do well in public groups. I'm not exactly a shy person, but I'm just not comfortable around new people or crowds. I'm just awkward and dorky, y'all. I just. Am. Always sort of have been.
So, for days I stressed out about the excerpt I needed to have ready. And then I stressed about the content--as we were asked to read "clean" passages.
Jesus. Effing. Christ.
I think there are two clean passages in the entirety of See Jayne Play! She's a hooker. Hook-Er. This is Erotica...
But I managed to find something remotely "clean." and tried to settle my nerves until Saturday came.
My nerves returned Friday night, tenfold. I just knew... knew I was going to yak in front of all those people, or just flat out pass out and die.
The only thing that helped was knowing that the other authors were just as nervous as I was. We had a small pow-wow in the group regarding the panel readings and I thought, okay, I'm not the only weirdo in the batch. It'll be okay.
And you know what? It was.
So, there I sat, right smack dab in between two big time Bestselling authors, authors I totally admire and fangirl over, and I did it. I read six pages from my novel and I didn't croak.
I did shake, though. Like a motherfuckin' leaf.
Pretty sure I cleared my throat about eight times as well, but just pushing through it, tackling something that is such a huge fear of mine was so freaking awesome. It was liberating, and now I know, I can do that shit again. However, I do have to admit that the drink my friend took me for at lunch helped. I probably couldn't have done it without the two pints of Rock Bottom IPA I had twenty minutes before showtime, and definitely couldn't have done it without the massive support from my fellow authors and new friends.
Part of the journey for me is firsts. Putting pen to paper for the first time, check. First book cover, check. First book release, check. First five-star review, check and check. First one-star... fucking check. First book signing, check. First public speaking gig, check.
I'm getting there, and there will be many more firsts along the way. I'm scared, I guess, but mostly, I'm really excited. If I can sit next to Raine Miller, so confidentially reading passages from her bestseller in a British accent and walk away with my shoulders back and head still attached, well, that's pretty kick ass.